For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic
by In A World Of Hurt
Summary: AU. Three counseling sessions every week. Five people. One Isabella Swan and one annoying, arrogant Edward Cullen.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Red Light Indicates Doors Are Secured

"_We all calm down, temper, temper  
You shouldn't get so annoyed  
You're acting like a silly little boy  
And they wanted to be men  
And do some fighting in the street  
They said no surrender, no chance of retreat_"  
-Arctic Monkeys

"So how were your winter breaks?" asked Mr. Davis, the school counselor, attempting to break the awkward silence.

_Silence._

He nervously started tapping his pen against his clipboard. Glancing at the clipboard, I read five names.

_Jacob Black_

_Edward Cullen_

_Lauren Mallory_

_Natalie Schzor_

_Isabella Swan_

Now I guess you're all wondering _why _the five of us were being evaluated by the school counselor.

Well, it all started the last Friday before winter break.

_Flashback_

"Bells!" a voice called from down the hallway. I turned my head to find Emmett McCartney jogging towards me.

"Yeah?" I grunted, shoving my books into my locker.

"Party. My house. Eight o'clock. Bring Nat!" He yelled the last part, seeing as how he was jogging away from me.

_Blink._

Well, _okay. _Since I _obviously_ have nothing better to do on a Friday night.

I watched as he jogged forward, stopped at a group of pretty seniors, and informed them about his party.

Well, don't I feel special.

Anyways, I'll just sum this up so we can see what happened.

_So,_ Natalie couldn't make. I went with Jake instead, since he was my only other close friend besides Emmett. We got to the party. I got sick of watching drunk high schoolers dance(grope each other) to _Justified _so I walked into the kitchen.

In the kitchen I found a _very _intoxicated Edward Cullen. Drunk Edward mistakes me for one of his groupies and pins me against the wall.

However, before I could react (I.e. Kneed him in the groin) I am viciously attacked from behind! My attacker? Lauren Mallory: Edward stalker extraordinaire.

_BOOM! _Cat fight (which mostly consist of her repeatedly attempting to hit me, as I dodge.

_End Flashback_

And _that_ is why we are here.

Well, that is why Edward, Lauren, and I are here.

Jake is here because he set Edward's backpack on fire during Lit.

_Totally_ bad ass. (har har)

As for Natalie I don't even _know_ why she's here. Maybe it has something to do with Lauren's swollen eye. Ah, that's my best friend.

"So..." Mr. Davis drawled.

_Silence._

"I _eat_ rabbits." Came Natalie's voice.

Wow.

I saw Mr. Davis' eyes widen, which made me chuckle. (har har) I looked around the table for the others' reactions.

Lauren- "Ew."

Edward- _snort._

Jake- "You're a _vegetarian._"

Mr. Davis perked up at Jake's words.

"Oh, you're a vegetarian?" he asked, obviously pleased that there was something to talk about. "Do you love animals?"

"No," Natalie answered cryptically, "I just _hate_ plants."

Mr. Davis' smile turned into a frown.

So _this_ is how I'm going to spend my Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 2:30PM to 3:30PM.

An hour every other day with:

An arrogant _prick_. (Cullen)

A spoiled, narcissistic _Barbie._ (Lauren)

Two of my _crazy_ best friends. (Nat & Jake)

And a counselor who can't 'help' any of us if his life depended on it.

This'll be an interesting year.

* * *

**Author Note.** My first fanfiction. HURRAW! Well, REVIEW. I want to see how it is! Hmm, soundtrack for this chapter includes: _"Damn You Look Good And I'm Drunk."-_Cobra Starship, well that's it... for this one. REVIEW! 


	2. Chapter One

**Author's note.** So, the first 'chapter' was more like a prologue. So I'm making this Chapter One. It was very short; simple. I'd appreciate it if _every_ reader would review. Flames are allowed. Seriously, you can't hurt my feelings. I'm a machine, ha ha. I enjoy reading constructive criticism, however, I don't get much. So... why don't you attach some to the end of a review, eh? After you read this, _just review_. Please. I seriously don't understand why people don't.

* * *

**Chapter One**

The Church Channel

"_Woah, do you remember me? is your  
__mind that worn?we both were born to  
__be one with that which the public scorns.  
Though you were forlorn in despair with  
__your drugs and your hardcore porn.  
Trust me, those days won't be mourned.  
__So lay your head on me._"  
-Say Anything...(ft. Haley Williams)

* * *

Scratch. Scratch. _Scraaaappee._ Oops. 

I examined my nails; picking out the bright red paint under them. Glancing at the locker I had scraped, I winced. The bright red paint that covered the locker had been brutally scraped off. They looked like claw marks.

Cool.

You see, I have this weird habit of touching everything I walk past. And, _ew_, not like that you pervs. Like sweaters hanging on a rack, or scarves, or _lockers_.

Anyways, I quickly jogged past that locker. Damaging school property could get you suspended. So, I skip to Nat's lockers.

* * *

"Hey," I said leaning against the locker next to Nat's. 

Then I noticed something. She redecorated her locker. A picture of Gaspard Ulliel replaced her picture of Richard Ashcroft.

_Shudder_. He looks so much like Edward Cullen, it's not natural.( ;D)

"Hey _Sexy Mama_," she replies, nonchalantly. She eyed my outfit critically, then smiled. Apparently she approved. Nirvana tee, skinny jeans; what's not to love? However, my outfit yesterday was _so _inappropriate It was the same outfit except I had on a _Boys Like Girls_ tee.

But, she might be a little biased because she '_abhors_' that band. Huh.

Suddenly, I was shoved off the locker. Someone grunted a, "You're in my way."

My Goodness. What is _happening_ to America's youth?

I glared at the guy, and moved my way to the other side of Nat's locker. She was talking about what happened on American Idol last night.

I, however, had no interest. I don't really watch television. Only _The Sauce. _But that because of the groovy music they play.

Suddenly, I am _slapped_ on the back of my head. What the _hell_?

I turned to glare at Natalie, but instead, found Jake grinning at me.

"_Yo,_" he greeted, grinning.

Stupid, stupid boy.

"_Ew,_" I respond, "It's _you." _I glared my scariest glare.

However, Jake just pinches my nose. I kid you not. He actually_ pinched my nose_.

"_Stop, _you _turd_" I said, slapping his hand away. "I'm going to class."

Well, this sucks. I have ten more minutes before class starts. Usually, I would hang with Nat or Jake, but seeing as how the are being turds, I can't.

What to do?

I know! I'll buy some breakfast. I started to walk to the vending machine, when suddenly _BOOM!_

Okay, well it was more like _BAM!_, but whatever.

Someone has just slammed me against a locker. That someone suddenly pinned my wrist over my head and leaned their entire body against mines.

This feels _inappropriate_. I'm sure it looks bad, too.

That someone had a freakish hair color. It was _bronze_.

Edward Cullen has bronze hair.

_Oh_!

_Ew._

"Listen here Swan, It's _your_ fault I have to waste _my_ time going to those shitty counseling sessions. So, I'm just here to warn you. _Watch. Your. Back_," he spat.

I was amazed. Not by how blunt or scary he could be, but by how good his breath smelled. I mean, it was so early in the morning but his breath smelled like... flowers. The good kinds.

Does he _eat_ flowers for breakfast? Hm...

No, that would be absurd.

"_Swan,_" he barked.

"_Huh?_"

He scowled.

"Watch your back," he stated, seriously.

_Blink._

Edward eyed me oddly and released me.

_Ow_, my back. It had been pushed against the handle. I rubbed it, scowling.

Edward was still eyeing me, then, he... smirked.

And you'll never guess what he did next.

He _touched_ my cheek.

This shocked me but I quickly recovered and slapped his hand.

* * *

**Authors Note(part two). **Yo yo yo. REVIEW. Soundtrack for this chapter: "_Funky Cigarette_"_ &_ "_New Shoes_"_ -_Paolo Nutini (don't know why, just is). OH, and pictures of my people will be posted on my page _before_ the next chapter. So, yeah. 


	3. Chapter Two

**Authors note. **Hello people who read my stories! Ahahaha, dicksmack. You reviewers are so funny! I kept my promise; I posted pictures on my page. Go _take a look_. OH! And if you reviewed, also _take a look_ at the end of the chapter. (I bet you're wondering why I keep saying _take a look_, but you'll find out soon enough.) I have a plethora of replies for you, my favorite story readers. This will be chapter 2, so _review._

* * *

**Chapter Two**

D Is For Dangerous

"_D is for Delightful  
And try and keep your trousers on  
I think you should know you're his  
__favourite__ worst nightmare. D is for..._"  
-Arctic Monkeys

"We should sue him," Said Natalie, "We should sue him for his house, convert it into a nightclub, and make _thousands_ every night. Yes, that'll be excellent..."

"No we should beat the shit out of him," Jake argued, pounding his fist onto the table.

This caused Rosalie to scoff, "Like you could actually take him, Jake." Then she went back to picking at her salad.

"We'll I probably could, if I had some help..." Jake replied, staring pointedly at Emmett.

"Dude, he's my _cousin_. My mom would _kill_ me if she found out that I was the cause of Edward's face looking like shit. She _loves_ his face."

Jake scoffed.

Me, Nat, Jake, Emmett, and Rosalie were all in the cafeteria, sitting at our usual table next to the windows. I had just told them about the '_vending machine incident_' and now they were all thinking of ways to get back at him.

Well, except Rosalie. But that's because Rosalie doesn't really care about anything besides herself. And maybe Emmett, but I don't really know.

_Anyways_, I'm still freaked.

I take a glance at Edward's table. He and his friends are laughing. The girls at their tables are giggling. All of his friends seem to have a skimpily dressed girl on his lap, except for Edward.

He had _two_.

All the girls at the table looked the same. Except for hair and skin color, they looked like little clones of each other.

Mini skirt. Polo. Pumps. Tons of make-up.

It was like I was seeing double... It was kind of cool.

Suddenly, Edward's eyes flickered to me. He stared at me for seconds, then, a small smirk appeared on his lips.

I blinked, and looked away.

Why does he always smirk? It's called a smile, Edward! You should try it!

"Okay, so it's settled," I heard Jake say. My eyes snapped back to my table, and everyone except Emmett was nodding, agreeing.

"Wha-" I started to ask.

_Briiiiiinnnnngggg._

Ugh, stupid bell.

Everyone dispersed from the table, to head to their fourth period. However, I, was left dumbfounded.

_What's settled?!_

I looked around and found the cafeteria empty.

_Crap_.

I rushed out of the cafeteria and ran to Spanish Class.

* * *

Ow. _Ow_. Ow. I silently whimpered to myself as my ankle throbbed. 

Stupid feet, couldn't even get me to Spanish without running over each other a few times.

However, I made it to Spanish on time! But, I had to sit next to some stranger blonde dude.

I think his name was Jackson. He's pretty.

He looks like some surfer dude. Blonde hair, some eye color (I can't really tell if it's blue or green or maybe even gray...but whatever), and surfer dude hair. Except his was a bit more neat.

But, I decided I don't like him, because he keeps giving me weird looks every time I silently whimper.

Okay, the whimpers aren't _that _silent. But, he _could_ pretend he doesn't hear them.

_Nudge._ I looked to my left, where Jackson sits.

"Are you okay?" he mouths.

"No. Shut up," I mouthed back.

This causes his eyes to widen, then return to normal size. Then, he shoots me an amused smile.

Then, Jackson puts something in the pocket of my hoodie. I raised an eyebrow (something I learned to do this summer) and slowly pull the thing thing out of my pocket.

I grinned. It's a _chocolate bar_! Maybe Jackson isn't too bad, after all.

After seeing my grin, Jackson grins, too. And then, we grin together.

"Thanks, Jackson," I whispered to him. Jackson's grin faltered a bit. But, it returned to normal.

"My name's Jasper."

* * *

**Authors note. **I've introduced Jasper! And when there's a Jasper... there's an Alice! Oh, just so you know, Jasper and Bella will _only_ be friends. Nothing else, at all. So... REVIEW! Quickly. I'm thinking about updating tonight. Soundtrack for this chapter: "_Naive_" & "_She Moves In Her Own Way_"-The Kooks. I know, kind of old songs, but they fit pretty good AND I still like to listen to them. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW. 

CHAPTER ONE REVIEWERS LOOK FOR YOU'RE NAME!

Sorry, prologue reviewers, but I've decided not to reply to yours, because they're all just compliments. So, all I have to say is: Thankssss! But review the next chapter and you'll get a reply!

**EDWARDSGIRL13**: Thanksssss. I particularly liked the exclamation mark at the end!

**Topaz-and-onyx**: I did want Gaspard to be Edward. But since Pattinson got casted, I decided not to dwell on what could have been. AND AND AND, I don't really like Gaspard's jaw. So, it's all gooood.

**Alter Eggo**: First of all, dude you're name rocksss. I don't know who Ned Vizzini is, _but_ I googled him. And his books have nice covers, so they _must_ be good. :D

**Redwolffalls**: Baahhh! Natalie isn't supposed to be funny. She's just supposed to be... weird. Thanks for the tip. I tried to keep it one tense. But, I'm not sure how well I did. Yous a cool cat. You're the only one who had the guts to complain.

**Bufster**: Very waaayyy OOC. I don't like Bella's character too much. Sooo, I switched it up. Something more realistic. You know? Some with at least a mild sense of humor. Bella's all serious and stuff. So, Butter, I decided if Bella changed why not change the rest of them. You know? It _is_ an AU.

**Holli-Loves-Edward**: _You_! You, by far, are my most favorite reviewer. Dicksmack, ahahah.

**Purple is my color**: Edward is _not_ a vampire. Ahahah, you're name makes me think of purple nurples. Maybe I'll include that in my next chapter...

**SingSongsAlong08**: Dude! I went to your page and and we have the same music taste! Well, except I would add some _Justin Timberlake_ in there. Ahahahah, justin makes me laugh with his funky dance moves. Ya Digggg? You probably don't, but that's okay. :)

**musicismybf227**: Dudeee, thanksss. They are, aren't they? I was trying to make an original one. You, are probably one of those few fanfictioners who like original fanfictions. Most of them go for those materialistic Twilight Cliches where Bella is uber beautiful and rich; a Mary Sue.

**Icy Cullen**: I don't know... what you just said. But, thanks for the review!

**AllyR**: Yes, yes, yes! Edward is _supposed_ to be a creep. Super creep! He's super creepy, now... just kidding. But, he is a creep in this story.

THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO REVIEWED!


	4. Chapter Three

**Authors note. **Yo. Reviewers, you're awesome. Others, you're... eh. Idk. Why is it that I have 45 alerts, but ONLY 35 reviews, eh? You non reviewers, you're all weird little hobbits. I added Jasper to the pictures! Take a look if you haven't already. Any of you watch TAI tv? Those guys are like the funniest dudes eveeeerr. AND AND AND why are they all so freakishly skinny? Anyways, I present chapter three. This is going to be in present tense. I'm really bad at keeping stories in one 'tense' so help me out?

* * *

**Chapter Three**

Suburban Home

"_I don't want no hippie pad. I want a  
__house__ just like Mom and Dad.  
I wanna be stereotyped. (Stereotyped!)  
I wanna be classified. (Just classified!)  
I wanna be masochistic. (Be a masochist!)  
I wanna be a statistic. (Be a masochist!)_"  
-The Descendents

* * *

"It happened when we were walking home," Nat explains, eagerly shaking her head.

"Wait... _really_?" Mr. Davis asks, fascinated.

"_Oh_, for the love of-! _Ouch!_" Jacob glares at me, and rubs the rib I elbowed him in. I wrinkle my nose and stick my tongue out at him.

"_Anyways_," Nat continues, sending a glare Jacob's way, "We- _Bella and I_- were just walking in the park and this old, jogging guy _flashed_ us his _boobies_!"

"He did _not_ flash you guys his 'boobies'," Jacob insists.

I snort. "How would _you_ know?"

"Because I was _there_. Remember? You guys made me walk behind you and carry your ice skates?"

"_Loser_," snorts Edward, causing Lauren to giggle.

Gag.

Well, as you could guess, we were at our second counseling session. We actually started talking! Actually, it was really only Nat, Jake, and me. Edward and Lauren occasionally add their snide comments.

"Jacob's okay. He laughs a lot. It's because Bella and I make him laugh. Do _your_ friends make you laugh, Edward? Do they? _Huh_?" Nat asks, her voice slightly rising.

_Ouch_.

Edward just stares blankly at her. Then, his gaze shifts to me.

"At least my friends don't lack beauty," he replies coldly, his gaze directly on me.

I raised an eyebrow. Silly, silly boy.

"Beauty is only skin deep, Edward," I reply, in an all-knowing voice.

He glares at me as I lean back against my chair. I pop a raisin in my mouth and watch as Nat explain the jogger fiasco to Mr. Davis.

"Edward, are you coming to my house after school?" I hear Lauren ask.

"Nah. we should go to my house," Edward responds.

"_Ooh_! I _love_ your house! It's so big!"

"I know," relies Edward, smirking, "It so much better than those hippie pads you see around here."

"Swan, don't _you_ live in one of those houses?" Edward asks, innocently.

I grin. "_Yeah. _I absolute _dig_ my shag carpet and my _groovy_ wallpaper!"

However, I don't really live I one of those 'hippie pads'. I don't know how Edward doesn't know that. I mean, live _two houses down_ from him.

My dad and his dad are _friends._

He's either really, really ignorant. Or dumb. I think it's the latter.

* * *

Lunch.

I take a seat at the usual table. No one is there.

Isolation.

The, I chuckle at how angst-y I sound.

"And she seemed so sane when I met her yesterday," a deep voice says.

I look up.

It's Jasper. And, he's not alone.

There's some really pretty black-haired girl next to him.

She smiles at me. I stare at her.

Then, Jasper nudges her. She looks at him questionably. Then her face seemed to understand. She reaches into her pocket and takes out a... _golden egg._

Ahahahah, just kidding.

She takes out a chocolate bar. And gives it to me.

I grin at her and she seems to relax.

"I'm Alice," she says. Her voice is pretty too. "Your Jasper's new friend...?"

"Bella," I fill in.

"Pretty," she says, smiling. Wow, she's _really nice_. She'll never last amongst my friends.

"You are the weakest link," I say in announcer like voice, that Nat and I practiced during the summer. I thought she would be weirded out or something, but instead, she grins.

Then Jasper grins.

Then I sneeze.

* * *

**Authors note. **I've introduced Alice! Her picture will be up, soon. I put the Jasper picture up. He is too hott. Even more so than Edward. I would change Edward to make him hotter, but that's who Edward is now. So, bleh. Soundtrack for this chapter is "_D is for Dangerous_" & "_I Bet That You Look Good On The Dance Floor_" -Arctic Monkeys. Love that band. So.. REVIEW!

**Anouncement. **OH OH OH, do you guys think I should pick someone besides Katie Leung for Natalie. I think it's kind of weird that she a Rob Pattinson(Edward) are almost couple-y in real life. You know?

**CHAPTER TWO REVIEWERS LOOK FOR YOUR NAME!  
**(If you want a more personal review, besides thanks, write more!)

**Alter Eggo.** Righteous! The Kooks are awesome! It's okay, though. Edward creeps me out to. I don't even know if this is going to be BxE, because Edward's sucha creep. :p

**JackThePirate.** You lucky goose, you! I would KILL and EAT(ahaha, jk.) to see them. But when they come to my town they're only going to be playing in some club, which I can't get into. X(

"_Delicious_," says Guy Ripley(a.k.a. Ryland) :D

**SingSongsAlong08.** Oh Lazarus! We are music soulmates! Jasper kicks Jackson's ass, though. XD

**blankExpressions-.** Well, _uh_, they just did, _yeah_. It's complicated. Its happened before at my school. I guess high school's just like that, ya know?

**Goldenheart444.** Thanks, duuuude.

**Musicismybf227.** No, _you're_ brilliant! Ahahah, I love reviewers like you! Leave such _long_ and _meaningful_ reviews. Duuude, I have the coolest reveiwers, _everrr_.

**IsabellaMarieCullen3214.** Dude, that's awesome. The Arctic Monkeys kickkk ass!

**Insanity's Partner.** Meh, idk.. :D But, jealousy _is_ great in fanfiction. BUT, what would Alice think:O

**Dazzled Dragonfly.** Whooooooo!

**Wanna Bet On a Bear Hug.** You betcha.

**Mrin. **Oaky, OMMMGG. I keep spelling okay wrong. ANYWAYS, okay. FOOL. :p

**Icy Cullen.** Ahahaha, yeah, Edward's a little hussy. XD

**Magic Words.** You silly... _hussy_. Ahahaha, jk. I will certainly _not_ sue. You reveiwers make me chuckle. :D

**Simply Emma.** I know, _right_:D

**Bufster.** Meh, idk. _Will_ Edward change? Who knows? Oh, right. _I know._ :D

**TwilightXAngel.** Thanks. In science class we're learning about elements. XD Random, right? Well, I guess all I can say is thanks.

THANK YOU, REVEIWERS.


End file.
